A strangers perspective
Here are a few more journal entries from this time…..
September 11, 2017
I've been sitting on the rocks of Peggy's Cove lighthouse, listening to the waves and wind boy it's windy! Taking beautiful photos I'm just thinking of my own value of myself. I don't know why I require attention, to feel wanted, to feel value. And when I lose that, I feel broken. But why? I'm such a good person normally. Stronger than I credit myself with. Why why do I feel not good enough? I got a postcard made that I could be in at Peggy's Cove lighthouse today. The man, Bruce, was very kind. He asked where I was from. We laughed and joked about it. He asked why I was out here, and I briefly told him of my journey, and why I was there a.k.a. running away. He expressed an apology and followed by “I'm not hitting on you, but you're very beautiful and seem like a great personality. You're going to be OK. You outgrew him and he didn't know what else to do. Promise me, from this they on, you will tell yourself every day “I may not know how but everything is going to be great”” He shook my hand and held it with both hands and repeated “everything is going to be great”.
3:30pm:
I finally made my way to Halifax from Peggy's Cove. I say finally, because I stopped so many times along the way to photograph the scenery. I was going to book a time to go sailing but no sailing today! I can do it tomorrow, but then it's not until noon so I wouldn't be leaving Halifax for Cape Breton until tomorrow around 3 PM and it's a 3 Hour Dr. I have no idea what I'm gonna do! I did get my first lobster roll ever on the boardwalk at Dave's lobsters in Halifax. I didn't get the regular one, which is made with mayonnaise like chicken salad, I got one called some fancy butter, lemon, garlic, fresh chives on the split top roll. Holy shit it was delicious! So far in the bun has a perfect warm crunch. I need it on the end of the boardwalk, but boy was it so windy! I stopped at a store called Amer's pewter. Everything was made with Peter. I ended up getting a bookmark the girl working first complemented my hair when I walked in and then as I was paying, she said she loved my necklace, followed by “I just love everything about you. You are so cool!” I laughed and said thank you. You can be my new best friend on my road trip. We chatted a bit about doing road trips alone before I headed off.
September 12, 2017
7am
I slept in the van last night at the superstore in downtown Halifax. Up and at ‘em early. Went inside, changed and got ready-now about to leave. I feel the last few days were a blip in my trip as far as emotions. When I try really hard not to allow myself to be altered by someone else's actions or lack there of. Initially, I felt if someone can be cruel who knows me so well, no chance should be given to someone else to hurt me. But that's silly. I'm a trusting person… Sometimes that burns me, but often it opens me up to a world. I otherwise would've never seen or I would've shut out and I can't stop being a trusting empath, because a few people hurt me. World is vast, and in general, people seem well-intentioned. So I'm going to continue on as I am. Every journey leads me to the next, each with a specific intention for my life. In life, there are no chance encounters, but a series of encounters meant to push you to the next part of your life. Do not ignore those steps. It's who you are.
