There’s Lobster Here….
September 17 2017 Another journal entry straight from my journal.
I’ve driven over half of PEI at this point….and today is my day to stop for some real, fresh lobster. So I google best restaurants for lobster and Blue Mussel Cafe comes up top on Trip Advisor as the best. So I google maps the location and….it was 150m west of my current location. I looked up and BAM there it was! How perfect…clearly this was meant to be.
I walked in with my camera and was seated. I began to take some photos of the place…I told the server I didn’t need a menu because I was here for the lobster. I didn’t even know how much it would be…but I didn’t care. When else would I potentially get to eat lobster on PEI? I certainly couldn’t leave PEI without having it! (it was actually “only” $41!)
So I’m writing in my journal, taking in the scenery and there is a little girl, probably 15-18 months old, blond curls, cute as a button. I found myself staring and smiling and then I felt the sting of tears. I don’t want to miss my kids lives and growing up. I dot want to feel life is passing by, I want to LIVE it. I want to be a much better mom than I have been. Being in survival of life mode makes me feel like I’ve cheated them. In an effort to escape the pain of my life, I seemingly escaped into an online “reality” and resulted in me ignoring the kids. In thinking my phone gave me more comfort than being present. Don’t get me wrong, I was there for them. But was I WHOLLY? I don’t know. I need to divide my time more efficiently to be present as best I can for them, for my business and to succeed. I need my business to thrive more than I’ve ever needed it to before. I need to better myself and not just hope it will happen.
This restaurant is completely adorable. Such a fitting nautical vibe; it just makes me want to keep photographing it. Like I want it in my studio!
The smell of the sea and the butter is overwhelmingly intoxicating. I can feely heart really telling me this journey is closing. I feel like a totally different person than the I left 13 days ago. I hope my girls see it. I hope they feel it the I return. I hope I continue to see it the I return and I hope I continue to develop and grow. I was to stop thinking about the judgement of others towards me or their perceptions.
OMG! The lobster was delicious! Holy shit. I wasn’t sure what to do with the body haha, eat the inside? Nah, I don’t think so. It came with PEI potato wedges, all seasoned up. Also amazing. Now dessert? WHY NOT?? They have chocolate potato cake…what?? Yes, made with actual mashed potatoes. It was incredible
I had another patron come over and ask me if I was a food critic. She said she watched me photographing around and writing in my journal. I laughed and said no, I was on a solo road trip off the east coast. She was from Vermont. I didn’t tell her much about my trip except I was from Southern Ontario. She then said “How inspiring of you!!” And that struck me as odd. She was’t the first person on this trip to use that word to me….another one being “brave”. Such an odd thing to me. It’s inspiring and brave that I’m solo road tripping and journalling? That I’m …quite frankly…running away from my life. Doesn’t seem very inspiring or brave….maybe one day I’ll feel differently.
