I’m Worthless

Along my journey, I continued to write. I got this beautiful journal from my best friend, who had taken the time to write quotes along the bottoms of the pages. Some from famous people, some funny ones, some inappropriate ones. I never looked ahead, I just anxiously awaited the next day or page of writing to see what was next that she wrote.

One of my favourites that still makes me laugh was “Dear Life, Would you please start using lubricant

I wrote EVERY THING I was feeling, every thought that came across my mind.

A good mom would have figured out a way to keep her family together.
A good mom wouldn’t miss her kids first day of school. (I left very beginning of September and was gone for just over 3 weeks so I did miss their first days of SK & Grade 3)
A good mom wouldn’t be concerned with a new man
You need to be a more attentive friend to what is going on in your friends lives
You need to pay attention to what your friends are going through
I cannot control others, only my own reactions to what happens
I will be happier if I don’t conform myself to what others want or expect

These are some very real, very valid thoughts I was having. Are they true?

Well…in that moment they were.

And It was not until later that I really began to see what was true.